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By Jeniam

This song fic is based on the song Mad Seasons by Matchbox 20. The first time I heard it on the radio, I thought of Gourry, it suits him doesn't it.  This will most likely end up being the prologue for the Gourry & Sylifiel branch of Slayers - Quest (no promises though).

     Gourry set up the fire for the night, his head still pounded from the effects of asking Lina another question.  It had been pretty straightforward to him but he must have missed something again.  Things were changing so quickly; he found it difficult to keep up.

I feel stupid - but I know it won't last for long
     It had always been like that; he would get so involved with his surroundings and miss bits and pieces of the conversation around him.  With this group, attack was always imminent and it was his job to protect his companions. Lina was over there sitting with Xellos and Melee discussing magic and would never notice danger coming.
I've been guessing - I coulda been guessin' wrong
you don't know me now
I kinda thought that you should somehow
does that whole mad season got ya down

     He would have thought that they, well Lina anyway, would have noticed that one simple thing about him by now.  He was a warrior.  His focus was not the minutiae of ancient history and magic, but strategy and battle. Now those were the areas in which he excelled.  He might not remember an opponent's name, he might not remember where they had battled before or why, but as soon as they began fighting he knew their style, how their eyes glittered before an attack, how they held their arms as they began to swing their sword.

I feel stupid but it's something that comes and goes
I've been changin' - think it's funny how no one knows
we don't talk about - the little things that we do without
when that whole mad season comes around

     He had been trying harder lately, because it made the others happy and Lina less violent, but could they see that? Of course not, they were as narrow as he was in their views but in a different way. At least he knew where his deficiencies lay; they could not be so objective about themselves.

so why ya gotta stand there
looking like the answer now
it seems to me - you'd come around
I need you now
do you think you can cope

     Could they cope, if he did not pay attention to the enemy, would they live for the next battle?  Probably not, they hadn't been able to figure out that Xellos was a monster when it had been obvious from the way he moved when they first met.  Commenting on the obvious again, that's what he had punched for this time. When would they learn what was obvious to them was not so clear to him, and what was obvious to him they were oblivious to.

you figured me out - I'm lost and I'm hopeless
bleeding and broken - though I've never spoken
I come undone - in this mad season
I feel stupid - but I think I been catchin' on
I feel ugly - but I know I still turn you on

     There was that strange attraction, though, between him and Lina at the beginning, but it was not an attraction that made him feel stronger, but weaker. Every time he got close to her, her disdain became obvious.  She cared for him but she did not understand him, and he could not live that way.  He needed someone who cared enough to look at who he was and why he did things in a certain way.  Lina was not that person.  She could have been though, if she had tried.

you seem colder now, torn apart, angry, turned around
will that whole mad season knock you down
so are you gonna stand there
are you gonna help me out
you need to be together now - I need you now
now I'm cryin' - isn't that what you want
I'm tryin' to live my life on my own
but i won't
at times - I do believe I am strong
so someone tell me why, why, why
do I feel stupid
and I came undone

     Gourry took out his sword and cleaned his new blade by the fire he had just finished starting. Lina was leaving tomorrow to a place where he couldn't follow. Maybe, now that he was no longer able to be her guardian, no longer tied to her quests, he would be able to find what he wanted, what he needed, and maybe he would be able to stop feeling stupid.

Fan Fiction